Keeping Up Appearances

I'm guilty of putting up an image of what I want other people to think my life is like.  Most of us are, but are we willing to admit it?  Do we even see it?

When I was in the process of divorcing my first husband I thought "keeping it real" with myself and others meant complete honesty.  While honesty generally in the best policy, being too honest was a problem for me.  It wasn't just about telling the truth for me, it was about telling too much of the truth.  Not everyone needed to know why my marriage fell apart.  I didn't need to justify myself or tell them every detail about why it didn't work.  Being honest was a good first step, but learning to guard the details of my life was an important lesson as well.

I really struggle with the things I post and if they are appropriate.  Do I want people to know this about me?  Am I being too vulnerable?  What kind of message am I putting out there?  A lot of posts become drafts that never get published.  I don't want you to take me the wrong way.

Like you I am human and 100% flawed.  I judge people and people judge me.  I take things the wrong way and I get offended.  It's part of life.  I don't think everyone should think like I do (I also don't force my beliefs, religious or otherwise, on people) because then the world would be a boring place with only one train of thought.

Is there more to life than what I post on my blog and social media?  Absolutely.  There are struggles I don't write about, because not everyone needs to know everything. 

However,  I believe in putting my best food forward.  I believe in keeping up my own personal appearance because people will treat me only as well as I treat myself.  But how much of that is for my own self preservation?  How much of that is putting on airs?

Keeping up appearances... is it worth it?  Is it a projection of who you want to be or is it a refusal to let go of who you used to be?  At the end of the day are we more of who we want to be or stuck in the same patterns of putting on a lie of who we want others to think that we are?

Sometimes when I look at other people's lives it makes mine feel inadequate.  I haven't quite gotten it "together" like they have.  It's ironic when I first started writing this post I had no idea where I was going, but now I get it...  It's easy to see with eyes from the outside looking in because I only see what you portray.  I only see who you appear to be.  Just like you see me.  It may look sparkly and golden from the outside, but we all know everything that glitters isn't gold. 

This time

I have had an off & on presence in the blogsphere for almost 4 years.  It's been so sporadic that I can't even really call it a presence.  I've just dabbled here and there.  Apparently (as you have already guessed) I lack the discipline required to be a regular blog poster.  I'd rather this not be another failed attempt.  I don't know much about HTML or graphic design, but I know about words... so here we go... AGAIN!

I started my very first blog while I was living in Chicago in 2010.  I then attempted my next blog in late 2011/early 2012.  The third blog was created in 2012 to document my love of makeup & motherhood.  All of these have several posts, but nothing that I could run with.  "Everything that Glitterz" has been in my head and heart for a long time and on this second to the last day of 2013 I thought, why not?

There's nothing worse than regret.  Life is too short.  So here it is... my latest attempt to be a blogger.  I am a Mom, a Wife, a Daughter, Granddaughter, Sister, Aunty, Cousin and Friend.  I am a Stay at Home Mom to my two crazy kids.  My husband & I own a business.  I drive an electric car.  I live in the Pacific Northwest.  I grew up in Hilo.  I have worked as a Makeup Artist.  Reading was my first passion.  Writing my second.

I have a million siblings (okay, maybe just 6) and am the oldest.  One of my brothers is in prison and it has been life changing for all of us.  I'd like to be more organized and I wish I knew about interior design.  I feel an instant connection to people who own dachshunds and fellow electric car drivers.  I'm a 30 something year old taking each day as it comes.  I like sparkly things, but as we all know: Everything that glitters.. isn't gold.